Digressions - Nihilistbear's Writings

Warning: The Fiction On This Site Sometimes Contains Graphic Adult Situations. If you aren't old enough to read the stories marked NC-17, please don't.

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The Fight For Spike Author’s Note: Here’s the premise. Spike moved to Italy and lives with Andrew. Because I want him to, that’s why. No need for backstory. This is really hideous bad!fic. Rated NC-17 for stupidity, ooc-ness, badly written gay sex and impossible sexual positions. And um, no dolphins, gnomes, or nuns were harmed in the making of this fic. Pairings Spike/Andrew, Spike/Angel, Angel/Andrew Spike and Andrew strolled along Via Condotti in Rome. They were holding hands and sighing deeply, and exclaiming loudly about how wonderful it was that all the stores were open late enough to avoid Spike’s whole vampire flambé issues. “Oh Spike,” Andrew sighed deeply. “I can’t wait to see you in the latest fashions. You have the physique of a Greek god and I want to show it off!” “Aha!” Spike hollered. “I knew you only loved me for my looks!” He pouted adorably. “You don’t care about my brain.” “Oh sweetie, it’s not just your looks. It’s your bad-boy sexiness and the way you quote Shakespeare all the time.” Andrew turned to Spike and widened his eyes. “Say something Shakespearey , okay snookums?” “Forsooth!” Spike announced. “To be or not to be! Uh… my mistress eyes are nothing like the sun!” Andrew shoved Spike away from him. “You dorkwad! You have a mistress?” He stormed away, trench coat flapping, hobbit hair ruffling in a breeze. “I can’t believe you’re cheating on me!” Spike raced to catch up with his lover. “No, Andyluv! Never!” He dragged the man who made the sun shine in the darkest hours of his existence close. “No one can make it hurt like you,” he purred. “I would never have a mistress. It’s just sodding buggering Shakespeare.” “You really mean that, Spikey?” Andrew said hopefully, dragging his air temperature lover closer to him, ignoring the people walking the strada near them. “Course I do, pumpkin.” He dragged Andrew to the nearest store. “C’mon lovepet. Let’s make me look like the height of fashion.” ~~~~~~ “Poopsie? Do these trousers make my ass look fat?” Spike stepped out of the change room and walked over to Andrew. Andrew’s eyes went slightly out of focus as Spike slunk towards him in a mesh tee shirt, puce nipples poking through the fishnet, and tight leather pants that outlined the bulge of his… “No,” he said dreamily. “You look perfect. Spike threw his hands in the air. “Why do I even bother?” he yelled. “You never do!” “Spikey baby, what’s wrong?” Andrew begged, standing up. “I think you look fantabulous! Every inch the sexy, soulful, god like vampyre you truly are!” “You didn’t even look at my ass!” Spike replied. “I’m a vampy- vampire, Andrew! I can’t glance in the mirror and see if something looks nice, and even though I can contort my body in ways that no human can even dream of achieving – even those Cirque Du Soleil blokes – I still can’t get at the right angle to check it myself.” Andrew walked to Spike. “Is that the only problem, sweetipie? Because really, your ass so does not look fat. It looks scrumptious.” “That’s not the point,” Spike shrieked as he stalked away from Andrew’s admiring gaze. “The point is, I had to remind you. I would never have had to remind Angel.” Andrew snapped out of his trance-like contemplation of the perfection that is Spike’s ass. “What?” he snarled. “Angel? You’re bringing Angel into this?” “Just saying,” Spike sulked as he leaned against a wall and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of an improbable place in his outfit. “Angel would have looked at my ass.” “I did look at your ass you bitch!” Andrew shrieked. “I even said it looked good! And that’s a lie. It’s lopsided, so there!” “Angel would have never said my ass was lopsided,” Spike replied. “Face it. You can’t be him.” “Yeah, well, Angel isn’t here,” Andrew said rudely. Just then, Angel blew into the store, leather three quarter length jacket flaring, caveman brow at a fore, hair as sexily spiked as ever. “Yes I am.” He pronounced. “And I‘m here to take what’s mine.” Andrew stood. “Over my dead body, you freakishly tall vampyre. Spike is mine!” He raced forward and kicked Angel in the shin. “You’ll have to fight me for him!” “Done!” Angel roared. “Naked wrestling! Whoever gets on top wins!” ~~~~~~ They faced each other on the edges of the ring. Two men, naked and covered in oil, skin glistening beneath the harsh lights in a conveniently placed arena. Two men with the same mission. To win the blond who was standing in the seats and cheering. To own him forever. To use him as he saw fit. To gain exclusive rights to his hot, tight little … where were we? Ah yes. Two men naked, facing each other in the ring. Andrew inhaled deeply. This was crunch time; if he wanted Spike, he had to beat down this hulking creature of the night, get on top and stay there for some time. It was a lost cause. Andrew knew it was a lost cause. Deep in his non-quailing guts he knew he could never take down Angel. He glanced up at his blond god and straightened his shoulders impressively. It was worth an attempt. “Ready?” Angel called imposingly from his side of the ring. “Yeah, sure,” Andrew mumbled, then cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure!” he hollered. “Let’s do this.” “I’ll teach you to touch my boy, you hobbit looking freak!” Angel roared as he rushed into the ring. “Wait!” Spike shrieked girlishly, stopping all the action. “Angel! You saw Lord Of The Rings!” He clapped and squealed and wriggled around. A lot. “Have you finally decided to join the twenty first century?” “ Shut up, Spike.” Angel snapped. “Get naked and, uh” he ran back to his clothes, dug around for a bit and pulled out something. “Use this.” He hurled it into he bleachers with all his vampire strength. Spike leaped up like a kangaroo mouse, all long tail and buck teeth… wait… let’s try that again. Spike leaped in the air like a cat, all lean muscles and sleek skin. He snatched the thing Angel had tossed him. “Strawberry lube?” he asked, smiling coyly. “Oh Angel, you shouldn’t have.” “Get your ass lubed up, because in a few minutes I’m gonna want it.” Spike nodded frantically and started tearing off his clothes. Angel turned his attention on Andrew. “Now, where were we?” It was over in seconds. Of course. Like Andrew actually had a chance against this guy, especially since a part of him kinda didn’t want to win. At all. “All right, Andrew,” Angel said, getting off the smaller man and dusting his hands off. “I think we’ve established Spike’s mine.” Andrew merely whimpered and moaned a little. He thought there might be a few broken bones, but to have the hulking black clad vampyre lying on him was so worth it. And then he faded into the background to save the trouble of getting him out of the scene. "Oh Angel!" Spike gasped as Angel dashed across the stadium to claim him. "You're so manpirely! Take me! I'm yours!" Angel looked at the vampire who was swooning at his feet. “You have to be kidding me. You aren’t going to faint, are you?” Spike stopped mid swoon and frowned. “This isn’t very romantic,” he chided Angel. “Don’t you get it? I swoon, you scoop me up in those big strong arms and take me off too our bower of love, I give myself to you tenderly…what?” Angel was laughing. “You are kidding me. Spike, we’re vampires. If I wanted this hearts and flowers crap, I’d have stayed with Buffy.” He wrapped an arm around Spike’s shoulders. “C’mon. I know a good alley, not far from here.” Spike pulled away from him. “Excuse me?” he said huffily, arms crossed over his naked chest. “I am not consummating our love in a fucking alley, Angel. What we have is purer than that.” Angel frowned. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked. “Maybe I got some self respect. Maybe Andrew taught me that there’s more to this than just fucking. Maybe - ” He squealed as Angel picked him up and heaved him over his shoulder. “Maybe you should shut the hell up and get ready to fuck, Spike,” Angel said as he smacked Spike’s ass. “And just to show what a nice guy I am,” he swooped down and grabbed Spike’s clothes, “we’ll skip the alley this time and find a hotel room somewhere. Is that romantic enough?” Spike sighed. “I really think we’ve lost that loving feeling,” he complained as he bounced up and down on Angel’s shoulder. “Angel? Are you going to be carrying me naked through the streets of Rome? Because we’re going to get some odd looks.” Angel smacked his ass again. “I’ll carry you naked through the Vatican if I want. And you’ll be quiet and like it.” Spike started purring like a giant tabby. Nothing like a little domination to get him happy. Bring on the whips and chains and emotional abuse. Because everyone knows real love had to hurt. Screw hearts and flowers, full speed ahead with the pain. ~~~~~~ “Oh Angel!” Spike cried as he clasped his hands to his naked chest. “That’s what all those cell phone calls were about!” He whirled around, taking in the room, which had been filled with roses and daisies and daffodils and scented candles and, um, lots of romantic stuff. What? “Yeah,” Angel said bashfully - tough guy Angel replaced by wussy Angel for no apparent reason - as he sent Spike a coy look through his impossibly thick eyelashes. “And, I got you something.” He shyly handed Spike a box. Spike tore it open and grinned. “Why Angel. You’re still a little bit of a kinky freak, ain’t ya?” He pulled out the manacles and chuckled. “Now this is more like it. The roses were beginning to scare me.” Angel frowned. “But I thought you wanted romance?” he said. Spike snorted. “My prerogative to change my mind, ponce.” Somehow he went from sweet romantic Spike to evil snarky Spike with absolutely no warning. “Now, take the lube and get yourself ready, because I’m going to have your ass tonight.” Angel stared panting. He loved it when Spike got all manpirely. ~~~~~ “Take it, bitch!” Spike snarled as he pounded into Angel’s vulnerable ass, rolling Angel’s body until he was practically in a ball. Because that was the best position ever. Angel’s feet were over his head and pressed against the headboard, on either side of the manacles. “Oh, yes Master!” Angel wailed. “Please! Harder!” Spike jackhammered into Angel, making the headboard bolts scream and the headboard dent the wall. “You like it when I’m riding you, don’t ya, slut?” Spike asked as he spanked Angel; over and over again. “Oh yes, master,” Angel moaned. “I love it, I love it all. Hurt me, beat me, make me come!” He tried to move his hips but couldn’t because of the rather awkward position, and settled for clenching his tight ass repeatedly. Spike cummed and cummed and cummed until he cummed all over everything. So did Angel. Then a big rock fell and everyone died. Oh wait. Vampires. Okay Spike cummed and cummed and cummed until he cummed all over everything. Especially the ceiling fan, and boy was that messy, let me tell you, what with the splattering all over the room. Spike cummed and cummed and cummed until he cummed all over everything. Especially the ceiling fan, and boy was that messy, let me tell you, what with the splattering all over the room. Then a troop of gnomes came in the room and mopped up all the cum while singing the dwarf song from Snow White that they so co-opted. But they didn’t mop up the cum from Angel and Spike because they licked it off each other. Then Spike and Angel watched Flipper on TV and wondered if Flipper was a voyeur and could they make him a vampire dolphin. Then they had a vampire mating ritual/commitment ceremony/giant ass wedding at the Vatican and lived happily ever after. Other Standalones Choose a Different Series 29 October 2002