Digressions - Nihilistbear's Writings

Warning: The Fiction On This Site Sometimes Contains Graphic Adult Situations. If you aren't old enough to read the stories marked NC-17, please don't.

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Look everyone! More Smut! That’s right, more smut. See, Daisye pimped me in her LJ, so I in turn offered the gift of smut. Any pairing, any level of smut (from super sweet to down and dirty). She asked for sweet Spander. Which has given me no end of frustration, but I think I managed to pull it off. I hope. Without further ado… Spike/Xander, set somewhere in season four. The story starts while Spike is living in Xander’s basement, and goes completely off the wall from there. RATED NC-17. No minors allowed. I tried really hard to keep this in character, but I may have fucked up really badly. If I did, sorry. Tough pairing, with the sweet together with the Spander. I’m The One ~~~~~~ It had started out innocently enough. In exchange for the loosening of the ropes around his wrists, Spike offered to give Xander’s shoulders a hard massage, using as much of his vampire strength as he could without firing the chip. Since Anya was pretty wussy when she was human, and his arms were always tired after mixing concrete for hours, he’d agreed. What he hadn’t admitted was the attraction he’d had for Spike. There was something so sexual about the vampire. He’d finally given into the innate sensuality and allowed Spike to go down on him the second week after he’d begun the hard massages that made Xander feel boneless and very sexy. Of course, that could have been the occasional licks Spike had trailed down his back. Then Spike had let Xander come in his ass, and it was all sex and fun from there. He figured the first sign that Willow had actually gone gay was her refusal to jump him publicly every time the blonde leered at her. Which he did on a daily basis. Even now, now that they were practically a couple, and Anya had moved on to someone who Xander couldn’t be bothered to care about. Sure, they hadn’t told anyone, and okay, he’d yelled at Spike a time or two when the vampire had gone to far in the “sarcastic flirting to make Xander squirm” as he called it, and had almost revealed their secret. Tonight, five weeks since Spike had swallowed his come and entered his life, had been the end of Xander’s secret keeping, though. Tonight had been horrible. Spike had spent the entire night flirting with Willow, and even Tara, who had flushed so brightly she’d practically lit on fire. That hadn’t been so bad, but when Spike had realized he’d embarrassed Tara horribly, he’d placed a hand on her back and rubbed gently as he apologized softly. Xander had seen red. “Can I talk to you outside, Spike?” he’d growled through gritted teeth. “C’mon mate, it’s all just fun and games, right?” Spike had taunted. “Soothed the ruffled feathers. No need to teach me a lesson. Won’t bother her again.” “That’s not what this is about and you know it!” Xander had yelled, forgetting their audience. “This is about us, and your insistence on trying to pick up everything in a skirt!” Spike had looked him squarely in the eye. “What ‘us’?” he’d asked with a sneer. “There’s no ‘us’, Whelp, just you tying me to a chair every night and being a general bastard!” “Fuck you, Spike!” Xander had yelled. “You know what I mean!” “No I obviously don’t so why don’t you elaborate?” Spike had replied icily, his eyes narrowing. “You’re mine!” Xander screamed. “You’re with me, and I hate it when you do this!” Spike didn’t reply, and Xander suddenly remembered that every friend he had on the planet was sitting in Giles’ living room. He looked around slowly. All eyes were on the spat. He glared at his friends as they continued to sit silently. He looked over to Spike, and the look in the vampire’s eyes was trying to be disinterested but was actually desperate for him to confess. Xander knew Spike very well; he was terrified of rejection. “Yes!” he yelled. “Spike is my boyfriend! We’re together. He belongs to me!” With that he grabbed Spike’s hand and hauled him off to his parents’ basement. The silence continued for a few seconds after they left, then Buffy said, “I had seven weeks. Pay up.” With a grumble, everyone reached into their pockets and began pulling out bills of various denominations. “You know,” Willow said with a sigh, “I was enjoying being the only newly gay member of our group.” Everyone laughed except Giles. “Damn that vampire’s sinister attraction!” Giles exclaimed, ignoring the looks of those around him. “I just lost thirty dollars because of the bastard!” ~~~~~~ Once they reached the basement and Xander had placed the latch on the door, he spun around, ready to give Spike hell, only to be beaten to the punch. “What the hell was that, Harris?” he growled. “Trying to get my ass beaten now? I don’t give you enough bloody kicks?” “Excuse me?” he asked, aghast. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “Oh, like all your stupid little friends aren’t going to come running over here, ready to stake me because I have you under some kind of thrall!” “They won’t get in.” Xander said calmly. “And if they did, I’d just tell them to get the hell out. Because we need to talk.” “Oh dear lord,” Spike groaned. “Is this going to be one of those ‘where is this relationship going’ type things?” he asked sarcastically. Xander flinched from his icy tone instinctively, but reminded himself that to know what Spike was really saying, you had to look at his face; he’s voice lied constantly but his face never could. He’d turned into a total pansy in the last five weeks, thinking up stupid stuff like that. He glanced at Spike’s face, and the same desperate look was warring with a concerted effort to look cruel. Xander sighed. This was going to take some long talking. ~~~~~~ Six hours, four orgasms - three Xander’s, one Spike’s - and a lot of conversation later, the two men lay replete on the bed. “So you were cross because I made Tara feel better after I embarrassed her?” Spike asked with a lazy grin. “That’s all it would have taken? A little kindness?” Xander made a concentrated effort to roll onto his side and look at Spike, but he was physically exhausted. He decided explaining while staring at the ceiling would be less painful anyway. “You’re only sweet with me,” he said softly. “Everyone else gets lewd comments and suggestive leers. I’m the one that gets soft whispers and back rubs. I’m the one that gets to see you without hairgel. I’m the one that gets to know where you’re ticklish.” He found the energy to poke Spike gently in the side. To his eternal mortification, Spike giggled. Xander smiled. “I’m the only one who gets to hear you giggle. It made everything so much more personal.” Xander decided to take this one step further. He made a stronger effort to roll to his side and this time he succeeded. “I’m the one that knows how much you like to be petted,” he whispered as his hand ran gently down the center of Spike’s chest, slid up his hipbone and as far down his thigh as he could reach before moving that hand back up him. “That you are,” Spike agreed with a purr. “I’m the one that makes you purr,” Xander continued. He started toying with Spike’s sensitive nipples, rubbing his flat palm across them slowly, then pinching them from time to time, making Spike moan. “I’m the one who gets to hear your moans,” Xander continued. He moved his mouth forward and started licking at Spike’s neck, nibbling along the vampire’s jugular and watching the tiny jerks his rapidly hardening cock made with each bite. “I’m the one that gets to taste your skin,” he murmured as he began licking his way down Spike’s body. He reached the short trail of soft hair that led from Spike’s navel to his dick. He licked a soft path down that trail, reveling in Spike’s little noises. He reached the base of Spike’s cock. In the five weeks preceding this, he’d never done anything that would plant him firmly on the side of ‘gay’. He’d never gone down on Spike. He’d never let Spike take his ass. He’d never even kissed him. He was an asshole. He had to make up for it. He thought of all the amazing blowjobs he’d gotten from Anya, and all the mind numbing orgasms he’d had at the mercy of Spike’s tongue. He’d never done this, but he knew a thing or two about it. He slid his tongue around the base of Spike’s cock and started licking all around it. Spike growled and shifted, and Xander allowed himself a private moment of satisfaction. He might have been inexperienced, but he was pretty good at remembering things that had been done to his body and repeating them on someone else’s. He slowly licked his way up Spike’s shaft, placing little sucking kisses on it once in a while, until he reached the head. He slipped his entire mouth over the head of Spike’s cock and started sucking slightly. Spike pushed himself up on his elbows. “You don’t have to do this, Xander,” he said softly. “If you’re uncomfortable or something, we can stop.” “I want to,” he whispered. “I want to make you mine.” He slipped more of his mouth down Spike and Spike stopped protesting. Huh. Anya had been right; suck a guy and he’ll shut up. Good to know the next time Spike got too annoying. Xander took as much as he could take into his mouth, which was barely anything compared to the actual length of Spike, and far less than Spike had been able to take of him. Centuries of experience, right? He bobbed his head up and down on Spike, and Spike growled. Xander looked up and saw Spike playing with his nipples with one hand as the other held him propped up on the bed. He looked so hot staring at him that Xander was about to faint. Time to put phase two into action. He pulled his mouth of Spike, inspiring a groan. Spike narrowed his eyes at him. “What’s going on, Harris?” he asked. “Not ready to play with the big boys yet?” “You said I could quit if I was uncomfortable,” Xander said calmly. “Well, I’m uncomfortable. My neck has a crick in it.” “Oh that’s a bloody good reason to get me so close to coming in your mou-” Xander silenced Spike with a kiss. A thorough, open-mouthed kiss complete with tongue action. Spike leaned backwards. “What the hell was that all about?” He asked confusedly. “Why’d you kiss me?” “Because I wanted to.” Xander nibbled at Spike’s ear. “Because I should have ages ago and never did.” He breathed at the wet spot he’d left on Spike’s earlobe. “Because I’m about to ask you to take my virginity and I’m a little nervous.” “What?” Spike asked as he pulled away completely. “You want me to…” “Fuck my ass,” Xander said, with only a blush, not a stutter in sight. “I want to feel you inside me, like I’ve been inside you.” “You sure?” Spike asked. “It’ll hurt the first time,” he added warningly. “It’s hard.” “I want it so badly, Spike. I want to belong to you, like you already belong to me.” Where the hell was all this poetic crap coming from anyway? He’d flunked English, and here he was quoting flowery prose to Spike. He was, as Spike would say so succinctly, a wanker. “I’m not stopping,” Spike warned. “If you agree to this, I’m going all the way. No crying off. Got it?” “Yes,” Xander said simply. He rolled over to his stomach, grabbed a bottle of lube he’d recently purchased just for this occasion and handed it to Spike. “Do it.” He propped himself up on his knees and tried to open his cheeks a little. Spike stared at Xander’s ass. Xander wanted this, he reminded himself, and you know you can make it not hurt. It doesn’t have to be like your first time. He coated his fingers in lube and slid one into Xander’s ass. The man moaned and twitched. But there was no yelp of pain, so he added another finger and began stretching the muscles there. “Relax, lover,” he purred. “It’ll make it easier.” The effect of his voice caused the muscle to relax a bit, and Spike added a third finger, moving all three around to make the hole wider. Xander was writhing now, and Spike purposely sought out his prostate, stroking a finger across it. A bolt of pleasure shot through Xander’s body, and he finally figured out what the attraction of being taken in the ass was all about. Spike’s finger’s continued to caress the organ, and Xander felt his excitement mount. “Please Spike,” he whimpered. “Please. Do it.” “You certain?” he asked a final time. “This is it, Harris.” “Do it!” Xander growled. “God, please, you’re killing me!” “Okay, then.” Spike slipped his fingers out and positioned his cock at Xander’s stretched entrance. He poured lube over his cock and over Xander’s ass. “Relax,” he whispered again. “I’ll make it amazing, I swear.” He pushed the head into Xander’s ass and braced himself for the slight pain from the chip. Nothing happened, so he slid more of himself in. Xander wailed. Whatever Spike was doing was touching him right where it felt so good. Spike slid more of himself in and Xander began tentatively thrusting against the intrusion. Spike yelped when Xander made his first moves and worked hard to control his thrusts. “Faster,” Xander pleaded. “Please Spike. Faster and harder.” Spike sped up and felt his balls start to clench. He was going to come soon. He reached a hand beneath Xander and gripped his dick tightly. He began moving his hand up and down in time with his thrusts. Xander began the little yips that emitted from him as he was about to come, and Spike sped up even more. Xander came hard and collapsed on the bed, bringing Spike with him. Spike thrust his hips faster, and after three strokes came as well, filling Xander with his come. ~~~~~~ Later, they lay on Xander’s bed. Xander had his head cuddled against Spike’s shoulder. He’d never let Spike lie in the bed before. Every other time it was Spike making him come, and Xander kicking him out to go sleep on the chair. But things had changed. Everyone knew. “I’m sorry I was such a bastard before,” Xander whispered. “It’ll be different, I swear.” Spike kissed the top of his head. “It already is.” Other Standalones Choose Another Series 24 January 2004